


A Sight for Sore Eyes

by IvyCpher



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Bad Decisions, Burns, Coffee, Gen, Glasses, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-17 23:27:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21651484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvyCpher/pseuds/IvyCpher
Summary: Remy has been hiding the fact that his eyesight is piss poor from the other sides for his whole life. Despite his poor eyesight, however, he doesn't wear prescription glasses. Why? Because they cramp his style. The other sides finally find out about Remy's bad eyesight however...
Relationships: Sleep | Remy Sanders & Everyone
Comments: 10
Kudos: 79





	A Sight for Sore Eyes

It wasn't that the other sides didn't notice that Remy had bad vision, they did. Every time he ran into the wall, or missed a step, or mistook Patton for Logan they noticed it. But Remy always had a pocketbook full of excuses ready at a moments notice,  _ "Just on a coffee high, honey!",  _ " _ Been playing hard to get with Thomas the past few days, I'm a little deprived of myself, but then what bitch isn't wanting a piece of me?",  _ " _ It's not my fault that y'all have the lights dimmed to the shit, I'm not taking off my sunglasses, it's a fucking look!", "You two literally look the same, we all look the same- except for me I'm about ten degrees hotter than all of y'alls but my point stands." _ And when Remy hit them with one of his excuses… well he was basically shutting down the conversation and no one could get a word in after that.

So whenever Remy bumped into something, or insisted they turn up the TV really loud because he couldn't read the subtitles, or a list long of other things that they all should've really put together sooner, the other sides just kinda let it happen. That was until Remy badly burned the palm of his hand because of his poor eyesight.

It had been a normal afternoon in the mind palace. Roman had been acting out one of his newest scripts with Patton in the living room, Logan was looking up quick recipes for Thomas to use, and Virgil had just finished cooking some ramen on the stovetop for lunch. None of them paid any mind to how Remy slunk downstairs, clutching a bright pink hydro flask in his hand. He slipped into the kitchen, nearly unseen by all except Virgil who sat at the counter eating his ramen.

Remy didn't even seem to notice Virgil as he entered the kitchen. With a sigh he put his hydro flask down on the counter and loudly fumbled about the kitchen making coffee, occasionally cursing to himself under his breath whenever he spilled water on himself or got coffee grounds on the floor.

While Remy had busied himself making coffee, Virgil watched him from the countertop, eating his ramen as he quietly could. Once Remy had finished getting the coffee pot all set up, he dove into the cupboard. Bottles noisily clinked around as he searched for flavourings and cappuccino powder, that even Virgil across the kitchen could clearly see.

After a full minute of searching, Remy finally found what he was looking for. "There's the bitch!" He said with a small laugh, grabbing a large blue container filled with cappuccino powder and a red capped bottle of hazelnut flavouring. He put the two items down on the counter loudly, and then shut the cupboard with his hip. "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch oh, the bitch is back." He mumbled to himself, smiling as he opened the cappuccino powder and poured in two large cup fulls of it into his hydro flask.

Nearly choking on his noodles at hearing Remy sing, Virgil quietly took out his phone and started to record him.

"Stone cold sober as a matter of fact!" Remy sang now louder as he now took the coffee pot off the warmer, a few remaining drops hit the hot plate and fizzled away with a hiss. He poured the dark coffee into his flask, not noticing how some of it sloshed over the sides and onto the counter. "I can bitch, I can bitch, cause I'm better than yous!" He sang, putting the coffee pot down crookedly on it's hot plate before he had even fully filled up his cup. He grabbed the lid from the counter and screwed it on, then started to shake the hydro flash with one hand, mixing up the cappuccino powder and the coffee. And while Remy probably meant to put his other hand on the counter, he didn't. He  _ instead  _ put it on the still hot burner of the stove that Virgil had used to cook his noodles.

And for a moment, Remy kept singing, unaware of what he had done. That moment did not last long, however.

"Jesus-fucking-Mary-Joseph!" Remy screamed, tearing his hand away from the burner. He let go of his hydro flask mid-shake and it flew from his hands and hit the wall, the lid popping off and coffee spilling everywhere. "What the fucking shit!" He yelled again, now clutching his hand, hissing in pain.

Virgil finally stopped his recording, he quickly slid off his seat and hurried over to Remy. "Man what the fuck? Are you okay?"

Remy jumped away from Virgil, his head snapping up from his hand to look at him. "When the hell did you pop up?"

"I've been here the whole time, Mr. Bitch," Virgil said as the other sides now ran in.

Logan slipped on the coffee covered floor and was rescued from falling by Patton who grabbed his arm and pulled him back up. "What happened?" Patton asked.

"Why is there coffee everywhere?" Logan gasped, straightening his glasses. He leaned against Patton oddly, not bothering to move away from him after being swept into his arms.

"Which one of you is hurt?" Asked Roman, looking between Virgil and Remy.

Remy raised his burnt hand in the air, his sunglasses were askew and his face was a blotchy red. "Fuckin' me! Obviously!"

"What did you even do to yourself?" Patton carefully walked over the wet floor. There was a hole in the wall where Remy's hydro flask had hit. He gently took Remy's wrist, examining his hand while the other tried to pry his hand from his grip.

"He touched the stove!" Sighed Virgil, "I recorded the whole thing!"

"You recorded me?" Gasped Remy, "Bitch, you  _ know  _ that my stuff isn't free! I want all the royalties!"

"Since  _ when  _ do you have a hydro flask?" Roman asked as he and Logan carefully made their way across the wet floor. "And what was he doing that was worth recording?" He asked Virgil with a grin.

Before Virgil could answer Roman's question, Logan had pushed past them both to stand close to Remy with Patton, who was trying to drag Remy to the sink to rinse his hand with cold water. "Remy, you mean to say that you touched the hot stove?"

"No, my hand just burned its-fucking-self, honey.  _ Yes! I touched the stove!"  _

Logan nodded like Remy had not just gave him an answer full of sass, "I don't know why I didn't see it earlier," All the other sides had a confused look on their faces.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Remy asked.

"You're just as blind as Patton and I are without our glasses, aren't you?"

There was a pause where Remy's cheeks grew darker, "P-Psh, you just wish! My eyes have 20/20 vision, baby! I don't know what shit you're on but I want some of it." He laughed, trying to rip his hand out of Patton's grip to escape, but he was unable to free himself.

Logan took off his own glasses and squinted at Roman, "Please go get the medicine bag." He said before plucking Remy's sunglasses off so quick that he didn't even have time to resist him.

"What the shit!" Hissed Remy. "You just don't rip a man's shades off! Not gucci!"

Logan shoved his glasses on Remy's face. "The only 'not gucci' thing here is why you would be so inconsiderate of your eyes."

Remy blinked slowly with the glasses on, he swiveled his head around. "Damn… Have y'all always been this hot?"

"Have you always been such a dumbass who doesn't wear glasses?" Chimed Roman before being ushered away by Virgil to get the medicine bag.

Patton finally released Remy's wrist, "Remy, why don't you wear glasses?" He asked slowly, "It can't be good for you or even comfortable to not wear them."

Remy looked down at his burnt hand and grimaced. "Because this prescription," He tapped the frame of the glasses with his unhurt hand, "Is too thick to be made into sunglasses. And that's my  _ look. _ I'm not me without my shades. Who I am, is just a basic bitch who makes you two," He gestured at both Patton and Logan, "A trio of nerds." He turned to Patton, "You make it work though, Pat, keep up that nice spice you have goin' on."

Ignoring the fact that he was just called a basic bitch and a nerd, Logan asked, "Have you ever thought of contacts?"

"Of what now?" Remy answered.

"Contacts!" Smiled Patton, patting Remy's shoulder. "I've tried them out before but they feel weird in my eyes."

"What the fuck. What the  _ fuck!"  _ Shouted Remy, "You mean we can have contacts? Who the fuck was withholding me that information?"

"No one considering that  _ you  _ were the one who was hiding your poor eyesight from us all," Sighed Logan as he removed his glasses from Remy's eyes and handed him back his sunglasses.

Just then, Virgil and Roman came back in. Roman was giggling at Virgil’s phone as he carried the bulging medicine bag. “I didn’t know that you sang, Remy,” Teased Roman, handing the medicine bag over to Patton. “You’ve been holding out on us.”

With his cheeks growing darker yet, Remy straightened his sunglasses. “Shit, you can’t handle my singing. I’m like a siren, I can’t have you all falling in love with me. It would be too troublesome.” He forced a grin, “Is anyone going to doctor me up yet or am I just supposed to stand here and look pretty for y’alls enjoyment?”

“The only siren he sounds like is a police siren-” Whispered Virgil behind his hand to Roman and they both proceeded to fall into a fit of badly hid laughs.

“Bitch, I heard that!” Growled Remy, “I’ve been nearly blind for Thomas’ thirty stressful years of livin’, of-fuckin’-course I developed the best sense of hearing there is!” He started towards them both, but with his shitty vision back and the fact that the floor was still slippery with coffee, he slipped and was only prevented from falling by being caught by Logan.

With a roll of his eyes, Logan held Remy in his arms and helped him up. “If you would just hold still for a moment you would see that Patton is getting what he needs to ‘doctor you up’ from the medicine bag.”

With a click of his tongue, Remy embarrassedly pushed Logan away from him, with a huff he crossed one of his arms over his chest and held out his injured hand to Patton. “I knew that…” He muttered.

“Sure you did, kiddo!” Smiled Patton, he took Remy by the wrist and lead him to the sink where he ran cold water over his burn. “In just a bit you’re boo-boo will be better and you’ll feel right as rain!” Then he dried Remy’s hand off by gently dabbing it with some paper towels and used a roll of yellow bandages with large smiley faces all over it to wrap his hand with. “There all better!”

“I still feel like I just burned the shit out of my hand…” Remmy sighed, taking his hand out of Patton’s grip and squinting to see the smileys on the bandage. “I guess it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. I’m still going to take like fifty tylenol or how many there are left in the bottle anyways.”

Virgil quickly stepped over the mess on the floor to take the tylenol from the medicine bag, “Not with your eyesight you’re not. You’ll probably just end up taking too many sleep supplements and pass out for a good 36 hours,” He said, stuffing the bottle into the pocket of his hoodie. “You know what… Scratch that, Thomas has been tired as fuck lately, take as many sleeping pills as you want.”

“Virgil!” Reprimanded Patton, “Don’t say that!” He put the bandages back in the medicine bag and zipped it up, looking stern. “Oh wait-! One more thing, Remy, I can’t believe I forgot.” His serious look was gone in a second and he gently whacked himself in the head with the palm of his hand.

“What is it?” Remy asked, “You’re not gonna prescribe me some bullshit glasses are you?”

With a soft smile Patton rolled his eyes, “No, silly,” He took Remy’s wrist again, “The best way to heal any boo-boo is with a kiss.” And he pressed a gentle kiss on to Remy’s bandaged hand. “There,” He let go of his hand. “Better?”

Either Remy didn’t notice how red his cheeks had gotten or he didn’t care. It looked like a flare had gone up in his cheeks, “Y-Yeah… I’m fine. Much better. I mean- it didn’t even hurt that much anyways.” He lied, looking away from Patton and puffing his cheeks.

“Oh great!” Nodded Patton, he then took off his glasses and grabbed Remy’s sunglasses off his face. “Then you can clean up your little mess.” He put his glasses on Remy’s face and grabbed both the medicine bag and Virgil’s arm. “Then we can help you get some contacts.” He nodded.

“What-” Remy stared open mouthed at Patton who had put on his sunglasses. “You’ve played me with your medicinal kisses!” He straightened the dark framed glasses on his face with both hands. “That’s low, honey.”

Logan walked past Remy and took Patton’s other arm, “What, you think that we’re just going to clean up your mess? You made it because of your petty style and lack of common knowledge of contacts. That’s your fault.”

“Oooh!” Whistled Roman, “Burn!”

“I’ve already been burned, bitch!” Remy stuck his tongue out.

“Double burn then?” Virgil chuckled as he and Logan lead Patton out of the kitchen with Roman following them.

Remy shook his head at them as they left, “Those motherfuckers.” He looked down at his newly bandaged hand and the smallest of smiles spread on to his slips. “They’re not too bad I guess…” And he dug out a rag from one of the kitchen drawers and started to clean up his mess.

**Author's Note:**

> If y'all can guess the song Remy is singing the y'all get a hug!
> 
> It was really hard to write Remy tbh, I'm not used to people who swear a lot and so comfortably, especially not in a threatening or mean way. Also Remy is based off of me here and my inability to wear sunglasses without being blind-
> 
> Wait I just realized something... is Remy Sleep's name because REM (rapid eye movement) sleep is when you dream???
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated!!!


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